Luke 7:36-50: Do you see this woman?

Man, I haven't even finished all the references for this week, but the one from the end of Luke 7 hit me super hard this morning! I think we can probably all say we've identified more with the "tax collecters and sinners" in some tellings of gospel stories and other times more so with the "scribes and Pharisees", but today I felt like I identified 100% with Simon the Pharisee.

Although our reasons may be different, my crimes are the same as Simon's. Where he may be acting out of blatant hostility, I often act out of familiarity. "Oh hey, Jesus. Come on in, help your self. You know where the bathroom is."

And if someone comes in (either literally to my home, or figuratively to my surroundings and everyday interactions) that I feel like I have to "defend" Him from, that He shouldn't have to deal with, I get super uncomfortable. Do you see this woman? Father, open my eyes to see the hurting people right in front of me.

And here's something really crazy. Maybe I'm the five denari sinner in the parable and my "sin debt" is relatively small (doubtful). But elsewhere, Jesus also says this: "Everyone to whom much is given, of him much will be required." The extravagant blessings of the lift I've been given are a different kind of debt. God has lent them to me and asks me now to pay them back by sharing them. If, then, my debt - albeit a different kind - is also huge, where is my gratitude? Why do I still "love little"?

But here's the thing: everyone's debt is still unpayable. Even if my sin debt seems smaller, or if I blind myself to think it's smaller, it's still unpayable. And then even beyond that, He's lent me this crazily blessed life. Why do I still love little?

"Your faith has saved you. Go in peace." My over-familiarity, my uncomfortability around the "not-quites", my little love and lack of gratitude - all betray my lack of faith. She had to just go out on a limb and trust that Jesus would make it ok, that her extravagant display of love and total disregard for social norms would be accepted. When do I ever do any of those things?

Abba, help me to keep from trying to "save face" for You, to push away people who are unworthy in my eyes... by reminding me what a crazy thing it is that You came to my house! I don't know if there are any real "five denari debtors" out there, but I'm certainly not one of them. Deepen my faith and love out of the depth of Your forgiveness.