Mutually Encouraged

Greetings from Ireland everyone!

I'm in the airport on my way to Paris right now, so I've got wifi for a little while and I've been able to catch up on all your posting/comments. Unfortunately, blogger hasn't been letting me comment from the mobile app, but know that I have been reading and praying for you all!

This little tidbit from Romans really got me:

"I long to see you so that I may impart some spiritual gift to make you strong - that is, that you and I might be mutually encouraged by each other's faith." (1:11-12)

How little I think about this! Does my faith encourage the believers around me or doesn't it? This has especially been on my mind while I'm here visiting Catherine. My prayer the whole time has been to find ways to encourage her and also to celebrate how he's working in her life.

There's a whole list of other people too (including you, Kiks!) that I'm communicating with from afar these days. Am I striving to be mutually encouraged by each other's faith?

And what about the people around me? If I'm not striving for the same thing at home, how can I expect to find it elsewhere?

Abba, strengthen my faith, not for me but so that the /body/ might be encouraged together!

As I spend my Monday morning lazily drinking coffee and catching up on your posts, one of my dear friends is sitting through an intervention that will lead to hospitalization and force her out of a very full, busy, and exciting season of life. And then my mind drifts to another good friend who has already been hospitalized for her risk of self-harm and who can't seem to get a leg up in the battle.

And then I read Pearl's blog about having faith and the gift of faith... and Lissa's about praying specifically and not just generally for change... and then I remember how very helpless I feel to pray about anything because when my heart has felt far, any attempts at prayer make me feel like I'm treating God like a genie in a bottle... so will you two join me in praying for them? Until it is more public knowledge I can't share their names, but of course the Lord knows them both intimately.

God, I am thankful for the community of believers you have scattered across our state and country (and world!), and I am thankful that because of our common bond in You, I can fall back on them for support and prayer, even for people they don't know. I thank you that neither of these friends battle alone, but that they have people who love You and know You and are praying with You for them as they fight for their lives. I pray that today would be a day of victory in both of their lives and in the battles they fight individually. I pray for those conducting the intervention, that they would be like Stephen not only as men and women of faith and the Holy Spirit, but as men and women who are able to speak grace and truth together. I pray for an outflow of compassion from Your heart into theirs, that they would have hearts that see and feel the struggle that is so real in my friend's life. Mostly I thank you Lord for the truth that sin has been beaten and that death has been overcome. I pray that that truth would resound more loudly and clearly in their lives today and in ours as well. Help me, help us, to be people of faith who not only pray but truly believe that what we have prayed for can and will be granted. Thank you Jesus for interceding, and thank you Holy Spirit for putting into words what my heart can't.

They chose ____, a person full of faith and of the Holy Spirit...

Acts 6:5 "They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit"

I really had to pause after reading this for a few reasons:

1) That is a great reason to choose someone to be on the team of people who would do ministry among the Grecian Jews. Do we use this type of criteria when we are selecting leaders in ministry? Sometimes (as a person who has worked at 4 different churches) I feel like ministries allow themselves to get desperate and they are willing to fill rolls with anyone who is willing and eager to do the job. Sometimes God uses that in amazing ways. Unfortunately, sometimes we pass up an opportunity for a great season of ministry because we did not wait for a person who is full of faith and of the Holy Spirit to come.

2) Then I wondered... would people in my life describe me as a person who is full of faith and of the Holy Spirit? Especially after the past few weeks, I wouldn't describe myself as a person who is full of faith. Yes, I believe in God and am in an active relationship with him, so I have that kind of "faith", but I often do not believe that God will act even though I know he can. Over the past few weeks, our church has been going through a lot of hard transition (and we will probably be going through more of it in the next 3 months) and it seems like we have lost sight of some of the most important parts of being a church. I have found myself saying that things will work out, but not believing that God will actually fix the problems we have here. It seems like it has been a bad pattern of trying to fix problems, but ending up with solutions that create a temporary, surface-level fix. Deep down in my heart it is hard to believe that God will change the root problems and change the hearts of the influential leaders in such a way that the same thing will not happen again now. However, God has been challenging me to pray fervently that the root problems are unrooted. I am trying to have faith that God will really make the change (not just that he can).

You Are On Our Side

So there's this Bethany Dillon song called "You Are On Our Side" that's been stuck in my head continuously for like a week now. I've always really liked the song, but it's just been hitting me in fresh new ways recently.

Here's the lyrics to the chorus:

You sit at the table with the wounded and the poor
You laugh and share stories with the thief and the whore
When You could just be silent and leave us here to die
Still you sent Your Son for us
You are on our side. 

So I've already got this song in the back of my mind when I sit down and read Luke 22:32 today, and all of a sudden both the song and the passage hit me in a whole new way.

"Pearl, Pearl. Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Pearl, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your sisters."

Guys, how great is our God?! How great is He that the enemy has to ask permission to get access to us. And he's not really even asking to mess with us or trip us up - just to sift. He's testing to see what's real and what's fake, to pull out the parts of us that aren't as genuine as we might think.

I suppose the fact that Jesus prays implies that permission has been granted. But guys, He prays for me! The Son of Man stands before the Father and intercedes for me! When He could just be silent and leave us here to die, still Jesus came for us, and He is on our side.

I don't know why that's such a hard thing for me to get my head around. Somehow I implicitly believe that Jesus is just kind of waiting around for us to fail again, even if He sort of half-heartedly hopes we won't. Rarely do I imagine Him pulling for us, pleading to the Father for us, strengthening us through His Spirit.

Anyway, all that to say - super encouraging! I haven't even read the other passages yet, but I was stoked on that one enough that I just had to post about it. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5-DjMpuM0M

Luke 7:36-50: Do you see this woman?

Man, I haven't even finished all the references for this week, but the one from the end of Luke 7 hit me super hard this morning! I think we can probably all say we've identified more with the "tax collecters and sinners" in some tellings of gospel stories and other times more so with the "scribes and Pharisees", but today I felt like I identified 100% with Simon the Pharisee.

Although our reasons may be different, my crimes are the same as Simon's. Where he may be acting out of blatant hostility, I often act out of familiarity. "Oh hey, Jesus. Come on in, help your self. You know where the bathroom is."

And if someone comes in (either literally to my home, or figuratively to my surroundings and everyday interactions) that I feel like I have to "defend" Him from, that He shouldn't have to deal with, I get super uncomfortable. Do you see this woman? Father, open my eyes to see the hurting people right in front of me.

And here's something really crazy. Maybe I'm the five denari sinner in the parable and my "sin debt" is relatively small (doubtful). But elsewhere, Jesus also says this: "Everyone to whom much is given, of him much will be required." The extravagant blessings of the lift I've been given are a different kind of debt. God has lent them to me and asks me now to pay them back by sharing them. If, then, my debt - albeit a different kind - is also huge, where is my gratitude? Why do I still "love little"?

But here's the thing: everyone's debt is still unpayable. Even if my sin debt seems smaller, or if I blind myself to think it's smaller, it's still unpayable. And then even beyond that, He's lent me this crazily blessed life. Why do I still love little?

"Your faith has saved you. Go in peace." My over-familiarity, my uncomfortability around the "not-quites", my little love and lack of gratitude - all betray my lack of faith. She had to just go out on a limb and trust that Jesus would make it ok, that her extravagant display of love and total disregard for social norms would be accepted. When do I ever do any of those things?

Abba, help me to keep from trying to "save face" for You, to push away people who are unworthy in my eyes... by reminding me what a crazy thing it is that You came to my house! I don't know if there are any real "five denari debtors" out there, but I'm certainly not one of them. Deepen my faith and love out of the depth of Your forgiveness.

"O Ye of Little Faith!"

An aside before I talk about faith: I just figured out how to get email notifications for the blog, so I thought I'd share if anyone else is interested!

On the blog overview page, go to Settings > Mobile and Email, and then add your email under "Comment Notification Email" and/or "Email Posts To". Just FYI. Happy blogging!

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I feel like a lot of the passages/references from the past two weeks involve Jesus rebuking people - especially the disciples - for their lack of faith. But He also claims that we don't need all that much faith in the first place:

"And He said to them, 'Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, "Move..." and it shall move.'" (Matt 17:20)

So I'm kind of left wondering: how do we cultivate faith? 

It seems like we're always being told we need more of it (and if we only need a mustard-seed-sized portion of it, then maybe we need to get some at all), but how do we get more of it?

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to this fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. "

Ok, Jesus. I hear you, but that sounds like a lot of conditionals. What if I doubt sometimes? Or once in a while? How do I know I believe enough? Is there some threshold?

I was talking with a friend the other day, who has a fairly similar personality type to mine. She is currently among a group of believers who appear to be very faith-filled - all very committed to prayer and trusting in the work of the Spirit. But my friend (who is an awful lot like me), finds that when it comes to making decisions her more practical side is often very uncomfortable with the way this group functions.

So I'm left wondering (as I identify with her story as well as the disciples): what is the difference between a lack of faith and a difference in giftings? I really believe that my friend's ability to think clearly and rationally is a gifting and a way she can serve the greater body. But does that mean she has less faith than her coworkers? Does faith just "come easier" for some believers?

I guess I really only have questions on this topic, not a lot of clarity. I would love to hear what you all think in the comments if you get a chance.

"Where is your faith?"

But as they were sailing along He fell asleep; and a fierce gale of wind descended on the lake, and they began to be swamped and to be in danger. They came to Jesus and woke Him up, saying, "Master, Master, we are perishing!" And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm. And He said to them, "Where is your faith?" They were fearful and amazed, saying to one another, "Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?" (Lk 8:23-25)

In Jesus' band of disciples, there are multiple fishermen (at least two(?) in the twelve, and likely more in the larger group of followers). They are literally experts in their field; they know how to gauge the wind and waves, how to navigate storms, and how to - at bare minimum - keep the boat afloat when things are going south. What caught my eye is the realization that they wake Jesus not to say, "Hey Jesus, we are just keeping you in the loop here. You might have noticed that it's been a little rocky, but we are doing our best to get us safely to the other side." Rather, they wake him only in time to say, "We're going to die!!!"

If you ask my dad what the driving force is in my life (aside from Christ, I hope) he would tell you: competence and adequacy. I strive to feel competent, to feel adequate, to feel like I'm "good" at what I do. Apply it across the board... my education, my career, my relationship with God, the way I serve,  the way I do relationships, etc. I am "up" when I feel capable, competent, and adequate. I am "down" when I don't. I am one of the silly, arrogant disciples, acting often in my own pothole of competence: Crap, it's getting windy... Let's ride it out and see if it dies down. Crap, this isn't the smooth sailing I had envisioned for us... I hope the Master isn't annoyed. Crap, things still haven't turned around... but I'm not in over my head yet, I've seen this before and I've got a few more ideas up my sleeve. Crap, my efforts to fix, change, improve aren't working... but I don't want to wake the Master. Crap, I still can't get this ship settled and pretty soon I'm going to have to wake the Master... Crap, I'm officially in over my head. I'm out of ideas, and the situation is now officially unsafe. Someone go warn the Master, we're going to have to jump ship!

When they/I/we do this, they/I/we act not in faith, but in a severe lack of faith. It's only to be expected, then, that Jesus not only rebukes the wind and waves, but also his disciples (and me) for their lack of faith. Emily, it is not your own competence that keeps the ship of your life afloat. It's not your "expertise" as a nurse, a friend, a disciple, a mentor, a daughter, that keeps the waves from crashing over. (It is first and foremost my grace, but that's another story for another time...) So when you do feel the waves crashing and the wind howling, don't waste days, months, seasons striving in your own ability to calm things down. Don't wait to come to Me until the only message you have is "Master, Master, we are perishing!"... come to me much, much earlier. Acknowledge your weakness, your inability to keep things afloat; ask me to make up where you lack; and trust (have faith) that I will be to you and for you and in you all that I have promised I will be.

"Where is your faith?" Help me, Lord, to remember (and live out) that it is in You alone.