And behold, a woman who had been suffering from a hemorrhage for twelve years, came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His cloak; for she was saying to herself, 'If I only touch the hem of His garment, I shall get well.' But Jesus, turning and seeing her said, 'Daughter, take courage; your faith has made you well.' And at once the woman was made well.
[Matthew 9:22]
If I only touch the hem of His garment - I shall get well.
I'm not gonna lie, this sentence has frustrated me a lot over the years. Sometimes I feel like I'm standing there, asking Him, "Jesus! I'm right here, I'm touching the hem of your cloak, but I'm not getting better." I feel like I'm trapped in habitual sin, and proximity to Him isn't enough.
But I realize it's not just proximity to Him that counts:
Daughter, take courage. Your faith has made you well.
I hear that, and I want those words to be comforting, but I just find myself discouraged - my faith has not made me well.
So what does that mean then? Do I not have enough faith? Do I not want it badly enough? Am I confusing other things for the hem of His cloak? Do I really believe that an encounter with Jesus is all I really need to be healed? Not usually. Especially when it's old stuff in my life.
Jesus, what does it mean to touch the hem of your garment, now that you have gone and left us your Spirit? How do I draw near to you to find healing? I know I need to just stop striving from my own efforts and let you take over, but it's so hard to force calmness on myself.
Daughter, take courage. Your faith has made you well. It's not about touching the hem of my garment. It's about faith that I am enough. And I am enough. In the story, the woman has faith that even the smallest piece of me will be enough. And yet I offer her all of myself. The same offer is extended to you. Take all of me. I promise it's enough.
Thanks once again to Jon Foreman for articulating my thoughts better than I can:
No comments:
Post a Comment